Thursday, July 3, 2008

I am George Costanza.

Today was like any ordinary day. I was, however, sporting an extra spring in my step because I finally got hired for and began a new job! (Praise the Lord!) After getting off work I purposed to run a few errands never suspecting that I would encounter a quick, yet utterly embarrassing moment. Here it is in its entirety...short but nonetheless quite humbling. (Please feel free to laugh, it was funny.)

There I was walking jauntily out of TJ Maxx with a sense of accomplishment having successfully completed my return. As the automatic doors slid open I was met with the warmth and delight of the afternoon sun on face. I intended to simply slip my newest receipts into a secret section of my wallet so that I would easily be able to locate them on the day (oh there WILL be a day) when I actually balance my checkbook and clean out the plethora of receipts that I have been lugging around for weeks. I approached the curb completely unaware that somewhere in the vicinity of my exact location and more accurately the location of my wallet, there was a storm a'brewin'. Like a whirlwind (a very small one mind you, seeing as though it seemed only to attack my wallet) a GUST of wind blasted my pile of receipts into the air, out of my wallet, and all of a sudden it seemed to be snowing in July.

Picture it...in 2.2 seconds every receipt that you meant to throw away, all of your dorky family pictures, your South African currency (oh, is that just me that carries that in my wallet?) flailing around you in a cyclone-like formation for the world to see. Papers fiercely flew into the street stopping multiple cars en route.

Here is the lowest and yet redeeming part. As I stooped down to start picking up the evidence of my secret disorganization, out of no where people appeared to aid in the rescue. I mean seriously, when I walked out of that store there was no one else around. Yet, miraculously as though they had flown in with the wind there was the grandma, the security guard, the teenager who hopped out of his car, and the friendly couple running around the parking lot attempting to salvage my "valuables." ( It was straight out of a Mr. Rogers episode!) "Neighbors" from all around pitched in to help the dork who clearly needs to clean out her wallet. The best part was when I heard a lady yell across the parking lot, " You are totally George Costanza!!!!" (Sadly, I knew she was referencing a classic episode of Seinfeld where George gets mercilessly mocked for having so many receipts in his wallet that he is unable to sit flat on a surface and has to sit with one cheek lifted due to the girth of his wallet.)

That was me, George Costanza completely exposed and laid bare for the world to see. I literally just stood there in embarrassment as my "neighbors" handed me pile after pile of papers and tid bits. I realized in that moment that, 1) I need to clean out my wallet and 2) People can still be neighborly in a delightful little way. Truthfully, I wish someone had been there to see it snow today, it was a real hoot.

3 comments:

Cassie said...

oh i so wish i had been there to not only help you in your moment, but to laugh after it was done!!

i miss you already and i'm so happy for your job!!

Lindsay said...

1. I love George Costanza.
2. You and my husband are alike in the wallet department. I'll share this story with him and maybe some inspiration will come to clean his out.
3. I sure love you a whole bunch!

joann boswell said...

I love that episode of Seinfeld. And I love this story. But mostly I love the person who yelled at you about being George Costanza--brilliant! I would never come up with something like that so quickly!