I'm back. You may have not known I was gone but I, on the other hand, have been glaringly aware of this dark and discouraging place I have been in for the past month or so. I have tried to snap out of it as it were, fight to make it stop, but this anonymous ache deep within me has ceased to subside.
Weighted down by uncontrollable circumstances threatening my faith in God's provision, thrashed about by the lies of the enemies, my knees have buckled under the intensity of life lived in the midst of a fallen world. It has been painful, confusing, and left me exhausted to my core.
In spite of I all, I have never stopped coming to Jesus. I have waited upon Him, clung to the faintest whisper of His Spirit speaking. Longing for the lingering darkness to lift I have waited in expectation for hope to pierce through. Little by little I have felt God pushing back the darkness and exposing the brokenness inside me. God has led me out of the ashes demonstrating along the way that His single purpose is my wholeness, my restoration, and making me look like His precious Son. God is willing to let the darkness and the gut wrenching pain remain so He can accomplish His eternal purposes in and through me. This astounds me.
Tonight as I sought the Word of God, I came across a verse that blew into my mind and heart like a fresh spring breeze. In it the prophet Isaiah describes Jesus, the coming King.
“Before you know it, his justice will triumph; the mere sound of his name will signal hope, even among far-off unbelievers.” -Matthew 12:21
The mere mention of His name signals hope.
Jesus.
Hope. Tonight I felt it. That Name is the source of all my hope.
Jesus, my Redeemer.
Jesus, my Provider.
Jesus, my Restorer.
Jesus, my Victory.
Jesus, my Prince of Peace.
Jesus. At the end of the day, He is enough for me. As I meditated on the Name of Jesus and all that this precious Name means to me, I felt like on the horizon there was a flicker of light. Jesus, the signal for hope. The Spirit of God has sent me a smoke signal in this wilderness I have been circling and it's the Name of Jesus. With each mention of His Name overwhelming circumstances seem to fade, fears are cast out, and the darkness has fled. In His Name is power to bring triumph, delicately create wholeness within me and bring beauty from ashes. It takes my breath away. The Word of God speaks and it has spoken of Jesus.
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