So He Waited.

After over a year stunned in culture shock and transitional silence…I have found my voice once again. I am little rusty, but here goes…

For weeks now my spirit has been yo-yoing on back to a Scripture from John 11.  This memorable story unfolds another breathtaking death-to-life miracle of Jesus.  The story of Lazarus’ resurrection is all too familiar as images of Sunday school crafts and forcefully sung renditions of, “Lazarus, COME FORTH!” echo in my mind.  However, as I read the account of this miracle a few weeks back, a couple of key, and somewhat irritating, words struck me in a manner I cannot seem to shake.

The story opens with the facts. 

John 11:1, 5-6

1 “Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.”

5 “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.”

Simply put, Mary, Martha and Mr. Under-the-Weather, Lazarus, were Jesus’ beloved friends. These were His, “Peeps”, if you will.   Jesus was out and about in a city nearby when news of His friend’s extreme health condition reached His ears.  Verse 6 says,

“ SO when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.”

In other words, Jesus had the ability to go straight away and save His dying friend whom He loved, and yet, He waited 2 more days.   In fact, the juxtaposition of verses 5 & 6 tell us, “Now Jesus loved…So,…he stayed.”

Jesus’ true love for His friends dictated that He wait.  He strategically delayed for a purpose that would make no sense to those who surrounded Him. 

To be honest, as this peculiar expression of Jesus love sunk in, my heart wanted to run from the thought.  Could this be true in my life? Are there possibly places in my life where Jesus knows and is the answer and yet He waits for the circumstance to become more desperate? I took this uncomfortable revelation before the Lord and was surprised at what He showed me. 

It is true that because Jesus loved His friends, He waited.

Jesus loved His friends and knew them well.  He knew that Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were Kingdom people.  Because He knew this to be the core of who they were, He delayed.  Loving His friends well, meant acting unexpectedly for the Kingdom’s sake.

Jesus reminded me that God trusts Kingdom people …

To put Kingdom purpose before their own agenda and comfort.

To not be offended when the King chooses a different way than what makes sense.

To value the glory of God above all else. 

When I look at my life and the places where I continue to wait for the Lord to act, I can take courage knowing that God counts me among His Kingdom people.  He knows and trusts that at the core of who I am His Kingdom will always matter most.    

Though the path marked out for us can be steeped with discomfort and pain, our stories, like Lazarus’, can be an avenue for a miraculous encounter for God’s glory to be revealed.  I can walk in renewed faith and hope knowing that because He loves me, He may wait.  How amazing that the Kingdom marks my life.   

Today I am lovin'.

These pigtails.

On this little peanut...

...alongside her little partner in crime.

Being Auntie Jenna.
Divine.

How the Caged Bird Sings.

This may seem inconsequential to you. It is, I admit. But lately certain habits of my days have struck me as odd though to me they have become completely normal. One of those habits I must endure repeatedly, everyday, all day, is locking and unlocking of an insane amount of doors, gates, and locks of all shapes and sizes. It is one of the joys of living somewhere where security is, well, not so secure. My cottage (as well as ALL buildings on our property) are currently sportin' what is fondly referred to as “Burglar Bars” on all windows and doors which on occasion makes me feel like I am locked inside a bird cage. It is nice to feel safe, but also a little disconcerting. To add to your insights into the oddities of my life, let me demonstrate for you an average day (laundry day that is) of my key usage.

(Morning)

Unlock front door.

Unlock Gate on my front door...(freedom).

Unlock gate on Laundry shed.

Unlock Shed door...(start laundry).

Lock Laundry shed door.

Unlock gate on the Jorgensens' back door

Unlock back door...(Chat with the Jorgensens)

Latch Gate to back door.

(An hour later)

Unlock Laundry shed door...(Change laundry cycle).

Lock Shed Door.

*Repeat steps above approximately 6 times.

(Heading to town)

Lock my front door.

Lock my Burglar gate.

Unlock the deadbolt and unlatch front gate to our plot.

Close gate and latch.

(Return from town)

Open and unlatch gate to plot...(Park)

Close latch. Lock Gate.

Unlock Burglar gate to my cottage.

Unlock my front door.

(Evening)

Lock my front door.

Unlatch the J's back door gate.

(Bedtime)

Lock the J's back door.

Lock the Burglar gate to the back door.

Unlock my front door.

Lock my Burglar gate.

Lock my Front door.

PHEW. Locked in my little cage for the night!

I'm exhausted just writing it out. You must know too that this does not include any car keys being used and excluded me forgetting anything...which I ALWAYS do once multiple gates are locked. So strange and yet so normal. Oh, keys, I've got a lot of you.

Beautiful Brokenness.

In these days, I find myself more and more encountering a raw and heart wrenching reflection of the depth of brokenness in my life and in the lives of those around me whom I love so much. Our world is filled with broken people wandering around declaring passionately how very, “fine” they are. But broken we all still are. We try to hide away these big and small areas in our lives hoping that with avoidance and time the wounds will heal. And yet they don't.

Years ago I heard a story about brokenness that caused my perspective to make a vital paradigm shift. It caused me to have the courage to pull out those areas in my life that really weren't fine and hold them up to the God who makes all things new. Friends, read on in the midst of your brokenness and see if the gentle whispers of our gracious God causes your view to shift too...

The glorious day finally came for the new priest to serve the communion elements to the devote crowds. He readied himself inside and out feeling delight in the privilege he had to be the one appointed for the task. He carefully poured the wine into the ornate, crystal goblet, gently placed the bread on the shimmering silver platter and walked into the sanctuary. The elder priest had just finished unfolding the brilliant truths that were to be commemorated in the Lord's Supper and the new priest quickly took his place at the front of the church right on queue.

The priest ceremonially lifted the silver platter with bread proclaiming with great joy the words of Jesus, “This is my body broken for you, do this in remembrance of me.” The bread was passed down each row and the church was filled with whispers overflowing from hearts of humility and gratitude for the Lamb who was slain in their place. As the last row was served, the priest lifted the ornate crystal goblet of wine high. As He did he proclaimed thankfulness to Jesus for His precious blood that was spilled to cover their sins. At the conclusion of the prayer, the young priest felt his nervous, sweaty hands begin to shake and his once steady grip on this sacred communion cup begin to falter. Without warning the priests now slippery hands lost all hold of the cup and the stunning crystal fell and shattered on the floor in a manner with such drama that the priest was sure that it took a year to finally land.

The entire church fell to a hush as the pieces of crystal tinked along the floor spreading the shards in millions of pieces in every direction. The crowd finally exhaled a united gasp and immediately began to mourn the beauty lost and the failure of the new priest. This sacred goblet had been used for generations during these precious memorial moments and now it was completely ruined beyond repair. The young priest stood stunned at first and as if by involuntary movement lowered himself in humiliation towards the broken pieces that now reflected across the floor his immense failure.

As he closed in on the shards of crystal strewn about the mourning crowd and utter embarrassment seemed to disappear. The young priest at once began to be stilled and captivated by the way that the beams of sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows gently and delicately sending beams of brilliant color across the sanctuary floor. The sunshine shimmered and danced among the millions of shards like a joyous waltz in every direction. The young priest had never encountered such beauty like this in all the world. Just as he had lowered himself involuntary to this place of his failure, he felt the corners of his mouth discover a mind of their own as they curled up into the sweetest and most sincerest of smiles. Tears gently streamed down his face as relief and joy overcame him. What had previously been his most horrific moment of failure now became a reason to rejoice in the beauty that had come out of this brokenness.

As time seem to stand still for this now weeping, smiling priest. He was amazed at the fact that the beauty of the this sacred goblet in its former, whole state failed miserably to compare to the magnified and multiplied beauty that was now so easily evident in each delicate broken piece before him. The young priest became hopefully lost in the beauty of this moment knowing that he would never forget this day. What a surprise to meet such unexpected delight in a moment that should have brought such devastation.

This broken crystal goblet and the captivating nature of each piece is symbolic of how God views each intricate aspect of our brokenness. So often we want to grieve over our moments of defeat and pretend that we can hold things all together or quickly clean up the pieces. The truth is we can't. If you and I would just authentically and openly expose the broken pieces of our lives to the restoring Presence of the Living God, we would witness real beauty from our ashes.

God is more interested in letting our brokenness be a doorway for the breathtaking aspects of His character to be reflected and illuminated. When allowed to, His Presence will majestically shine upon in each piece of our broken lives. To God brokenness is beautiful. It is something He can shine through. It is something He can fully restore. It is a brilliant way that His tender, gentle, and powerful resurrection life can burst through us, giving Him maximum glory. We don't have to be fearful of our brokenness. If in humility we offer the millions of shattered pieces to Jesus, He will faithfully shine His light in and through us bringing beauty from our ashes and wholeness we have never known.

Pearl of Great Price.

Matthew 13:45-46

Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a pearl merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it!

I may not be a pearl merchant, but I have discovered this pearl of great price.

Today looking out at my a classroom of precious six graders I saw glimpses once again of this priceless treasure. The Kingdom of God gently transforming, fully alive, convincing young hearts that there is another way. As I watched their pens sign purity pledge cards with great conviction and enthusiasm I could see it: The stunning reality of Truth at work. Many days my schedule pulls me in a million directions filled with the mundane and ordinary causing my heart to forget that the Kingdom of Heaven is all around me. It grieves me that I can forget why all of this matters so much. Why this great pearl I have so graciously been led to is completely worth selling my all that I may obtain more then I could ever imagine.

God's Kingdom shines so brilliantly in the ordinary and the extravagant moments of life. Yet, sometimes I miss it. In these days I desire to slow down and truly see it. To remember its worth. To stand in awe and behold its Creator once again. I see it...

In the faces of these young ones who are willing to take a stand for purity in a society and generation who mock the very idea.

In the faith of single church Mothers struggling with diseases and poverty who choose to simply trust God. Who are poor, but are extremely rich in Spirit.

In the courage of youth who rise up in the face of brokenness and take hold of the freedom that was so victoriously purchased for them.

In the sincere, heartfelt speeches of my sixth graders who thanked me for teaching them truth and changing their lives.

It's all because of my beautiful Jesus. It's life covered with the tender and powerful fingerprints of the Almighty. It is the pearl of great price worth my all. It's the Kingdom of Heaven invading today. It overwhelms my heart. What a treasure.

Being Miss Javens.

It is no lie, I LOVE teaching. I love every little detail about it; the lesson planning, clever “attention-getters,” witnessing AHA moments splashed across young faces, being consistently covered in chalk, marking books with smiley faces, and most of all, I LOVE the kiddos. As much as I adore the fact that God has called me to Africa to teach darling, uniform-clad littles (and youth), lately I have been feeling like a crazy teacher juggling 200 students ranging from 5^th, 6^th, 9^th and 10^th grade. I love it, but most days I am exhausted. Most days I need a little reminder as to why I am performing the one-woman show for the masses, why it is all so terribly worth it.

This week I got it. A little pick-me-up in the form of a letter shyly slid across my table as the author fled the scene.

Its contents are as follows (In its original form):

“Dear Miss Javins,

I am writing this letter telling you how much I love you.

You are the rose of my heart. The first time I saw you, I sat down, took some time to look at your face and your eyes gave me courage. You are as precious as a dimond and your voice is as sweet as a piano. I would like to tell you that you are adorable, always intrigued and captiated lady. You are a great lady who is not afriad of challenges.

Wherever you are, you have my blessing. Even if you are poor or rich, I still love you and you are always smart and persistant. You are such a darling.

I realy love you Miss Javins, Mother, Father and members of your family.

From your Student

Cindy

Ahh, being Miss Javens. (Or “Javins”)...simply divine.

A Teaspoon Kind Of Love.

I love that our God is a God who speaks. The gentle and piercingly clear echoes of truth penetrate my heart in ways that consistently humble me. When God speaks I am encouraged to my core as His words of truth sweetly breathe life into my innermost being. Recently I was seeking the Lord on behalf of a friend of mine and I heard that gentle whisper say something that seriously shocked me. As I poured out my sincere concerns and fears about this friend before the Lord, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, “Jenna, I don't NEED you to love them.” What? In disbelief, I kindly directed God to my mental Rolodex of Scriptures where He commands me to love others and humbly asked how this could be. Yet, I heard it once again, “I don't NEED you to love them.”

Now thoroughly confounded I asked the Lord to show me what He meant. In my mind's eye He flashed a picture of the most sparkling, beautiful, endless ocean, expanding as far as my eyes could see. God told me to look at the magnificence of the ocean, the sun reflecting upon the water, the roaring waves crashing and yet the stillness in between each set of waves. Trying my best to visually take in all that lay before me, I soon failed. He gently said, “This is like my love.”

The love of God is deeper, wider, longer then we can imagine. It's the kind of thing we can dive into, splash around in and yet never fully comprehend its depths or power. As I looked in wonder at this breathtaking view I began to notice that amongst the fabulously crashing waves were my family, friends, and the people that I love most. The Spirit whispered to my heart once again, “My love is enough for them.”

With sand wriggling between my toes I looked on in wonder and then began to notice I was holding something. Carefully balanced in my hand was a teaspoon filled with water. God spoke to me, “This is like your love.” Taking my eyes off the expansive ocean view I saw this tiny measure of water which now seemed so silly in contrast to the depths of water that crashed so majestically before me. Though my love was sweet and sincere, in comparison to the all-satisfying, never-ending love of God happily dousing my friends and family from head to foot, it seemed unnecessary.

Then God spoke another word that made my spirit stoked. He said, “Jenna, I will LET you love them. As you love others, you will get clearer glimpses of me and my love.” Dropping my teaspoon in abandon I ran into the ocean to join my friends in joy as the waves furiously crashed against me spewing water amongst us all.

As I have let this seemingly peculiar picture and revelation percolate on my heart over the past few weeks, I can see how true it is. God knows that I will never be able to comprehend His kind of love this side of Heaven and so he created relationships. It is the deepest privilege and delight of life to love others. God does not NEED us to love others, He LETS us in it. He desperately wants us to better understand His character and love. His brilliant plan is for those revelations to arise amidst our relationships.

Friends, as you have loved me well, I can honestly say I have gained glimpses of my God...

When you are patient with me and my shortcomings,
you remind me of my God who is utterly patient.

When you demonstrate levels of kindness that make my heart brim with joy,
I am astounded at the kindness of my God.

When you offer me forgiveness,
I encounter afresh God's grace and mercy.

When you walk in humility as my friend,
I understand a sliver more of my Humble King.

When you sacrifice on my behalf,
I am reminded of God's love that led to the ultimate sacrifice of His Son.

When you extend hope,
I am reminded of my God who is the source of all hope.

...I am so grateful for these (and so many more) treasured glimpses of God that you have provided me over the years. 1 John 4:12 says, "No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” I am humbled when I consider the opportunity I have to love you. Through the brilliance of relationships that God has blessed us with, may we continue to make His love complete and more clearly see our God.

Simple Moments.

I am a blogging misfit as of late.

I am sorry...more for me then for you.

It is no secret that I love writing and this new trend of reenacting a chicken-with-its-head-cut-off (which is frightening in real life, I have seen it in person, believe me) has caused this love to escape me. This frankly, will not do.

So, I promise I am back. Even if I write short little snippets, I will write. You have my word on it. Ha.

Lately with the craziness of my life consumed by lesson planning and teaching for the masses (and I mean literally, “the masses” I think I am up to about 170 students), I have been struck with the simple little moments that make it all worth it. These seemingly mundane and otherwise insignificant moments that make this little chica squeal inside. When these moments are stirred altogether, they become a recipe that mixes perfectly into a life of rich fullness with the sweetest aroma.

Delectable Moments As of Late...

My nephew Joshua (by choice, age 2) laying his sweet head on my shoulder and patting my arm while we read Martha Stewart's Living together on the sofa. That little fella melts my heart in a hundred million ways.

The youthers playing endless games of Skipbo in sweltering heat while incessantly laughing, chatting, and savoring each others' company. Oh, the delight of family.

The brilliant musical happenings of two of my high school students who agreed to beat box and “free flow” rap for me at break time. “Miss J” got a shout out like you wouldn't believe.

Opening up my birthday packages from home with endless giftings and finding not 1 BUT 4 boxes of Cracklin' Oat Bran. It is the little things people, little indeed.

My 6^th grade darlings presenting me with my birthday present that was a pretty little bag filled with:

3 small bags of chips, 2 oranges, 1 yogurt, 5 sweets, 2 pieces of bubble gum, 2 juice boxes, and exactly $1.12 in coins (in Pula, naturally). Makes you wonder what they all ate for lunch that day, ne? Oh, the sweetness of sincere sacrifice.

Having the joy of busting a' move alongside my fellow African teachers in honor of Botswana Day and Shakira's, Waka, Waka dance. I was rewarded with a, “Well done, Mam, well done,” from my students whose faces were painted with shock. They just never knew I had it in me.

Phone calls on my way to teach from beloved, missed friends at home that have me laughing so hysterically that I look I have been weeping (and if you know me, well, you know I had been) as I go to teach. I am crazy about a hearty laugh.

Countless uniform-clad little African darlings racing to greet me along the path with ear to ear grins. The endless echoes of “Hello, Miss Javens,” across the school yard from squirmy littles.

Befriending Walter-the postman, who waited an hour and a half at the central post office to fetch my birthday packages which seemed to be “lost” and then miraculously “found.” Getting long-awaited birthday packages ON your actual birthday...priceless. Walter, I couldn't have done it without you.

Hearing the mysterious whispers of Hope at the most unexpected times. Sensing unexplainable joy rise up when circumstances in no way warrant it. Sensing the nearness of my God who can't be seen but is at work in powerful, miraculous ways all around me.

These moments make up my life.

This life I have been given... is certainly a good.

God's Word Blows My Mind.

So, there is the verse that I can't get over. I am totally in love with its consistent ability to blow my mind, shoot adrenaline into my faith-life and make me smile. The thing is God's Word IS living and active and when I found myself waning in the faith department the HS reminded me of this little treasure. Not only that, He dared me to put my name in it and to dream big. He is just good like that.

I know that this verse recounts the glory of the fabulous faith of Abraham but I have found it my goal and prayer that this verse could also be said about me when I am old and gray. For effectiveness sake, I have included my name right next to Abe's (feel free to plug your little name in there too!) as verses 24 promises that the same goes for us if we dare to outrageously believe God. I am in. You?

The Original...
Romans 4:20-22
“Abraham never wavered in believing God's promises. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was absolutely convinced that God was able to anything he promised. And because of Abraham's faith, God declared him to be righteous.”


The “Yes and AMEN to that!” Version...
“[Jenna] never wavered in believing God's promises. In fact, [her] faith grew stronger, and in this [she] brought glory to God. [She] was absolutely convinced that God was able to anything he promised. And because of [Jenna's] faith, God declared [her] to be righteous.”

Obedience is Bliss.

Living in a house with a 2 ½ year old lends itself quite easily to repeated lessons on the topic of obedience. It is a fact that on any given you day you will undoubtedly hear the words, “Joshua, listen and OBEY,” uttered with forced-patience from the lips of his Mom, Dad, or me, his Auntie. I am finding that obedience sometimes is a funny thing. From the youngest age so many of us form ideas on this slippery little word that relates the action with either reward or punishment. Sadly, obedience tends to become associated with being forced to submit and do the things that we do not want to do.

The thing is that God didn't create obedience that way.

This morning while reading the somewhat dismal judgments on the rebellion of God's people in the book of Ezekiel, I found this little verse (actually repeated twice so you know it HAS to be important!) that popped out at me and shown a pretty little light on obedience.

Ezekiel 20:13

“...They [The Israelites] wouldn't obey my instructions even though obedience would have given them life.”

Let this truth of God's Word settle a bit in your spirit...Obedience gives LIFE. I can tell you there is this unspeakable joy, peace, and richness to a life lived in obedience to the will of God. It is not a life lived in numb, mindless obedience but rather a life fully alert to God's very best and willing to jump right in. I have gone through seasons where obedience was not fun and was for sure a choice of my will, but the more I allow the Holy Spirit to work in my life this remarkable thing happens...I actually become delighted to obey the Lord. Yep, it is totally true.

As I thought over this alternative perspective on obedience before the Lord this morning, I felt my heart begin to ask some thrilling questions they may challenge the way you view obedience too.

What if the things God is asking us to do in obedience were actually the very things we desired to do most? ...Then obedience would be easy and delightful.

What if we viewed obedience as a way to express our love for a God who has done more then we can fathom? ...Then obedience would be intimate.

What if I allowed my heart to be so tuned to the Spirit of God that it was easy for me to hear and know what God would ask of me? ...Then obedience would give purpose.

What if we just simply trusted that God is for us and obeyed Him?

...Then we would find this life God speaks of.

Obedience will always be a matter of the heart.

I so desperately desire my heart to be in step with all the marvelous plans of my God for me that obedience is no longer a duty but a pleasure. For obedience truly is bliss.

I Spy.

So, I realize I have been absent for a bit and thus I thought I would break the silence with a nonsensical thought that has been bouncing around my noggin'.

I occasionally get emails from the American Consulate & Embassy in my little inbox. Sometimes the info is of the mundane nature (fees being raised) and other times if is shocking (multiple gang attacks targeting foreigners at the mall I frequent, no worries).
Regardless of the email's contents, the bottom of each email reads...

“This email is UNCLASSIFIED”

This sentence leaves me with the suspense and anticipation that someday I will actually receive an email on the contrary with four little words filled with intrigue and espionage possibilities...

“This email is CLASSIFIED.”

If only, people, if only. I will keep you posted.
However, if I tell you, I may have to kill you.

2010 FIFA World Cup: The Noisiest Classroom There Is.

Who would have thought that FIFA's 2010 World Cup would prove to be such a willing teacher? I sure did not and yet, with these matches being in my backyard so to speak, I have consistently learned new and surprising things about myself. In honour of this momentous event coming to a close I feel inspired to share these new realizations. Here goes (in no particular order)...

I DO enjoy watching soccer on TV. Who knew? I had no idea. I have never before been so captivated and addicted to watching any sport on television. In the past I have naively claimed that watching soccer on TV is like watching chaotic ants dancing. Alas, it is not so. The rhythm and precision with which which these players execute their moves is mesmerizing. After all of these years I admit I was wrong. I love the World Cup.

I am diseased. All along I have been infected with a disease that has only now come to my attention...I call it the “Unable-to-keep-your-mouth-shut-during-a-match-disease.” There is no possible way for me to watch a soccer game and not a)Hold one-sided convos with players/teams b) Make ridiculously embarrassing sounds of excitement, despair, or any other emotion that arises. c) Feel the need to offer my verbal condolences to the losing side. It's an illness and I am looking into getting medication.

Vuvuzelas are our friends. Having lived in Africa for multiple years I have already had time to develop a relationship with the obnoxiously loud and uncalled for nature of a Vuvuzela. But guess what? It is physically possible to develop immunity to the incessant hooting of this excessively used celebratory instrument. I know, because I have. It is brilliant. Attention: Vuvuzela-ers...hoot away at all hours of the night for no apparent reason, your racket is dead to me. HA.

Player look-alikes. I have begun to take note that far too many times I have looked at a myriad of players and said to myself, “Oh my goodness, that Spanish (German, Uraguan, fill-in-country-here) player looks just like [so and so] from home!” Can it really be that these players really,truly look like my guys friends from home? I doubt it. Having the same freckles, facial hair and hair colour does not a look-alike make. Homesick much?

Work out regime. When it comes to watching the World Cup matches I can't not care. Me caring means that for the entire 90+ minutes I have every muscle in my body clenched as deep stress and excitement overtakes me. Thus I have inserted this viewing pleasure as part of my weekly work routine. Boy, am I toned let me tell you.

I Heart Soccer Talk. I am completely obsessed with holding conversations with knowledgeable soccer fans (usually of the male persuasion) whilst dropping impressive soccer vocabulary, repeating what I heard analyst say the night before, and giving my take on the previous match. I even got into a convo with my trainer at the gym this week. I sounded so smooth and soccer-educated you have no idea.

Compassion. I am sad to say that the close of the World Cup does offer me some relief. One thing I have definitely learned about myself is that I am WAY too compassionate during these games. Every missed goal, every goal keeper mistake, every team error twists my heart in pain as compassion overwhelms. I have to cover my eyes when they show the losers on their knees crying and for some reason I find myself channeling the players' moms and imagining how heartbroken their Mommy's are. I realize this is weird but I can't help it. I wish I could transport myself into the TV at times and give these sad little fellas a hug. If only. It would really do my vicariously-aching heart some good.

Soccer, Futbol, Football...Call it what you like. It's a beautiful game.

Oh, and GO SPAIN!!!!!

Road Trip Revelation.

My fresh revelation for today...neither holy nor anointed, but still just as true.

I have begun to view my 2 hour (round trip) drive from my village to "town," as a road trip.
I know this because I find myself incessantly overcome with the urge to purchase road trip edible essentials every time I am heading home.

You know the stuff they sell right by the register? Yea, that stuff.
Sad thing is the urge too often gives way to purchasing. Now road trips are awesome because you can embrace the beef jerky, pop, candy and sweets guilt free because you can justify it as necessary sustenance for the once in a blue moon journey. It is part of the "road trip experience." Trouble is that I make this trek almost everyday...sometimes twice.

Have you ever considered what might happen if you, too, viewed your commute as if it were a road trip. Yes, it is a scary, scary thing indeed. But then again, somewhat thrilling too.

Choose Faith.

Hebrews 11:40

God had a better plan for us: that their faith [The faith of the Saints before us] and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours.

The faith of the Saints that have gone before me is not complete until I walk the path of faith that God has set before me. My faith completes and bring wholeness to their picture of faith. Their faith beckons me on to believe when things look impossible, to walk in hope, and to cast aside the tendency to make decisions based on sight. My faith will also blaze the trail for those that follow behind me.

Today, I feel the responsibility and thrill of being a woman of faith.

My mustard seed faith is part of a masterpiece that God is preparing for His glory.

In the depths of my heart I just get this sense that, Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith is not finished writing my story quite yet. And so, today I simply and sincerely choose faith.

Gardening for God's Glory.

I am not a gardener in the natural.
However, God has called me to garden in the Spirit.
If I had known what this job entailed, I pray I would have still said, “Yes,” to Him.
The soil He has set before me is the rich, tender, and sometimes ornery soil of the next generation in Botswana. God has filled my sack with seeds of His truth, echoes of hope, and a fierce faith that though the seeds seem small, they will produce a harvest.

Sometimes the soil is soft, receptive and prepared for the seeds.
Other times the soil is hard and even rolls it's eyes in my direction.
Regardless, the seeds never change. They are sown faithfully each week with no regard to the status of the soil. Though I rejoice when I see the seeds to take root, I have been called to sow seeds with confidence and in obedience.

Being a sower in these fields takes hard work.
It requires investing time, walking in wisdom, watering the soil in love, and deep, sometimes painful sacrifice.

The soil that I am referencing is the hundreds of 6th &7th grade students at Mmusi Primary School who I have the privilege of teaching each week. In this public school I get to sow seeds of truth about God's heart for purity, being people of character, making wise choices, and stepping into the incredible plans that God has planned. Often I am asked to speak truth on subjects that the very culture around me hides from. It can be mortifying and challenging at times. But sow I will. I believe if I faithfully and boldly proclaim the heart of God over these young ones, there will be a harvest. This week I saw that faith come to sight.


Behold my first harvest...
115 seventh graders who have decided to pledge abstinence until they are married. Those seeds have taken root. These young ones believe there is another way. They believe God has a plan for them. They believe that they can start a new heritage of purity in their village, country, and continent.

I believe it too....for “I am sure that God, who began this good work within [them,] will continue His work until it is finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again.” Ephesians 1:6

Things I Love and Adore Part V.

Items in my purse that daily remind me of home...

1. Lip Gloss I “stole” from my Mom (Check)

2. Favorite chap stick (Check)

3. Ice Breakers gum...who doesn't love the cubes? (Check)

4. Cucumber Melon Hand Sanitizer from Bath & Body (Check)

5. Westside Church pens...I love these little guys-never run out, always there when you need 'em!

   (Check, Check)

6. Cruel, cruel joke from some beloved friends who secretly hid a reminder of my LEAST favorite word in my purse...Can't seem to throw it away, however. (Check)

It's the little things. I'm thankful.

Good Answer, Good Answer.

That night God appeared to Solomon. God said, “What do you want from me? Ask.”

Solomon answered,“...Yes, give me wisdom and knowledge as I come and go among the people...”

God answered Solomon, “This is what has come out of your heart: You didn't grasp for money, wealth, fame, and the doom of your enemies; you didn't even ask for a long life. You asked for wisdom and knowledge...”

2 Chronicles 1: 7, 10-11 MSG

It's like a dream. Just as young Solomon was busy taking “a firm grip on the reigns of his kingdom,” God chose to appear to him and asked him a vitally important question. “What do you want from me?Ask.” Just like that, the King of the Universe offers Solomon any little thing his heart could imagine. Sheesh, I have always been astounded by Solomon's response. Solomon does not delay. He does not hmm and haaa. He delivers a brilliant answer. Wisdom. Such an answer would surely have gotten a round of applause or an enthusiastic affirmation of “Good answer, good answer!” had he been on Family Feud. (Oh, was that just me that watched that show?) I have always been struck with the cleverness of this young king to ask for more cleverness. Today, however, when I read this familiar passage something new popped off the page in technicolor hues.

In verse 11 God responds to Solomon. He states that this brilliant answer or request came straight out of Solomon's HEART. I finally get it, it's not a cleverness thing, it's a heart thing. God was impressed that Solomon had the kind of heart that would desire wisdom above all else. He did not grasp (cling to and pursue) the things of this world, the very things in fact that most young people spend their lives trying to grasp. Solomon had established deep in his heart a value system that caused the things of this world to pale in comparison to the wisdom of God. Wisdom that comes straight from God. Wisdom to accomplish the task God had laid out. Wisdom that in fact led Solomon to all the other blessings that God wanted to pour out. But this wisdom began with a humble heart.

I often pray for wisdom. My day to day life has a habit of screaming reminders of how desperately I need it. I desire God's wisdom. Wisdom that goes down deep and draws me to the only source able to complete all that is on my plate each day. However, if God were to appear to me today and say, “Jenna, what do you want from me? Ask,” would the answer that came from my heart truly be wisdom? Do I value the wisdom of God above all else or do I choose to spend my time grasping for so many less worthy pursuits? The challenge stares me in the face on a day like today.

I don't just want to be wise. I want a heart that seeks wisdom, a heart that reflects the maturity and knowledge of my God. A humble, teachable heart.

How about you? What do you want from God?

Things I Love and Adore Part IV.

My Mom.

There are frankly no words to express the love and adoration I feel towards my Mum. She has always, always been there for me. She is such a rock in my life because I know I can always count on her for a listening ear, a good story about her littles, a kind word, and a sincere prayer. The fact that I never in my life have had to doubt her love for me or the fact that she would be there on the other line ready to be my Mom, is simply breathtaking. I am overcome not only with gratitude that God would choose her to be my Mom and best friend but so very humbled that she has again and again made countless choices to put me first, to sacrifice something of herself so that I could be cared for. On this list of things I love and adore...my Mom is at the top.

Happy Mother's Day Mum O' Mine.

Things I Love and Adore. Part III

The Sensation of Pulling Up Socks Nice and Snug.

(I realize this is strange, but then again, so am I.)


Winter is fast approaching this side of the globe and with my little toes getting cold I am reminded of this marvelous sensation. There is something so comforting and securing knowing your feet are toasty and your socks are firmly in place. Sounds a bit odd, but it is true, I love it and am thankful for it. Thankfulness is thankfulness if you ask me.

A Word on Joy.

Since arriving back in Bots in January, there has been an underlying theme of my life...JOY. Though it is not something I necessarily always have, there has been this insatiable desire growing deep within to really understand how to truly obtain it. I NEED joy and my guess is so do you. Now, I am not talking about sunshine and flowers kind joy, I am talking about the kind of Joy that can be my strength when challenges come, the kind of Joy that will steady and sustain me and cause me to walk in faith and hope in otherwise hopeless situations. I have desperately needed it and thus have begun a deeper pursuit of the source of all my Joy. (Psalm 43:4). Through the consistency of the gentle, yet powerful Holy Spirit, God's Word, not to mention a little help from my beloved friend Bo Stern's, The Joy Project, I am learning to live it out. I have discovered a few things about this treasure that is found in the JOY of the Lord and wanted to encourage you that you too can walk in true joy. Things have not been easy in the past few months to say the least but God's delightful Joy has kept me.

A few words on TRUE JOY...

When circumstances demand despair, this kind of Joy remains.

It is only found in God's Presence.

It is a CHOICE made from your will not your emotions.

God causes it to well up from the deepest places in your heart, in the most unlikely moments.

It purely reflects, as in a mirror, the goodness of God.

It restores a weary soul.

It's contagious.

It will make you laugh, and sometimes cry “happy tears.”

It steadies you.

It's always available.

This JOY well will never run dry.

Over the past few months when I have been...

exhausted,

robbed,

internally weary,

dealing with naughty students,

discouraged,

carrying burdens,

facing impossible circumstances,

aching deep within,

...God's JOY has faithfully had the last word each time.

I find myself utterly humbled by a God who delivers TRUE Joy when it is needed most.